Did Something New

I actually went to the show by myself yesterday. I've never done that before. I love seeing movies on the big screen, but if I don't go with someone, I usually end up renting and watching at home. Yesterday, I decided to go by myself.

It wasn't a bad experience. The show wasn't crowded (I saw Music & Lyrics with Hugh Grant, btw). That's how I recommend going solo to a show. I don't think I could handle it if it was really crowded.

I did notice that a couple people looked at me curiously, but I ignored them. Once the movie starts, none of that is important anyway. I definitely recommend doing this and will do it more often in the future. I get my choice of seats and I know I'll get there on time. Plus, if the movie sucks, I can leave when I want!

The orchid at the left is a hybrid of a Wilsonara. I think it is actually two plants in the same pot because I get two different types of flowers at different times. The other ones have much more white in them. It's fairly easy to take care of. It doesn't need all that much sun. I fertilize it every 2 weeks. It has been blooming for about a month.

Some orchid shows are coming up within the next few weeks. I plan to go them. Like I really need another plant!

Hooky

I took a day off. Shh, don't tell anyone, but I called in sick and I'm not. Sometimes playing hooky is required. I haven't felt the need to do it in a long while, probably because my job is so demanding and I live so much closer to it. Let's face it, driving 40 miles to work each day was tiring.

I don't plan to do too much except maybe go for a walk and to the store. I also have a hair appointment later. I love getting my hair done. I also will play with my birdy for a while. He likes having me home too.

So I dedicate this post to all those thousands of people who are staying home just for the heck of it. May you all enjoy the day off!

Happy V-D?

So it's Valentine's Day? This day really means nothing to me. I have never celebrated it and no man I was with ever did either (one said it was too commercial as an excuse not to buy me anything). If I get a gift from a man on this day, it's a combination birthday/V Day. They kill two birds with one stone and feel really good about themselves. Everybody's happy.

This birthday was a milestone: 40. I can't believe it. I don't feel like I'm 40 and I don't look it either (I still occasionally get carded!). It surely must be a mistake! My life is a lot different than I thought it would be 20 years ago or even 10 years ago. I've learned that it's okay to be alone. Sometimes if we try to force things, it just makes us miserable. If I really wanted a relationship, I suppose I would join a dating service. I did once. I looked around and wasn't impressed. People would say I'm picky. Well, why shouldn't I be? This isn't like buying a pair of shoes.

We had a blizzard yesterday and got maybe 10 inches of snow. I was out shoveling the driveway. I watched the men in the neighboring houses with their snow blowers acting all manly. Hey baby, I shoveled it all by hand and didn't break a sweat! What gets me is that the neighbor a few doors down started around the same time as me and we were done around the same time! What? I am too proud to ask for help. Maybe that's part of my problem. I don't like to need anyone.

Can't Just Be Friends

An ex-boyfriend contacted me a few weeks ago and asked me to dinner. We've remained friends since we've broken up (4 years ago), and we have gotten together once since I moved here.

What a mistake this was. He came over, we went out to dinner. I should have seen the warning signs when he took my hand and gave me a hug before we left the restaurant. He dropped me off at my place and I invited him in. It seemed rude to just send him on his way to a 3-hour drive home. Anyway, he got quite friendly with me and asked me if he could stay over. I told him no. He practically pleaded. It turns out that he is still in love with me, he wanted just one more night to be with me, blah blah blah. I again told him no and that we had both moved on and that it wouldn't be a good idea. He started with the "I don't know how you women can be that way." I told him that I don't know about other women, I just know how I feel.

I sent him packing and didn't email him all week. I noticed a message from him yesterday. He just wanted to know if I was okay and if I was still angry. I told him I wasn't really angry. I'm not. I'm disappointed. I feel like he betrayed my trust. I trusted him to be over this and to be my friend. He said he was. Now I feel that we can't see each other anymore. I don't want to. I have no feelings for him anymore. I was involved with him at a time when I was very vulnerable. It shouldn't have happened back then. It took a lot for me to get past the guilt and to move on. I can't go back to that. It makes me very sad. I don't think I'm cut out to be with any man. I guess it's because I really don't need them and do fine on my own. I don't have time for their needyness and emotional baggage.