Almost Ready

I move in a couple of days. I spent the weekend and today packing. I'm amazed at all the boxes I have. I mean there's just me! Why do I have so much? My last move was 9 years ago. It's odd to think I doubled or tripled my possessions since then.

Anyway, I have good news. My condo is sold. Well, it's getting there. Contracts are signed and I'm waiting until the home inspection is done. I'm not getting anywhere near what I put into this place, but I need to sell it quickly. I've learned that with condos, it doesn't matter how much money you spend improving it. It will still only sell at market value. My property has also lost value because some investor buys them up very cheap and then rents them out. It breaks my heart. I'm very happy, however, that my place is going to a couple with a small child. Maybe they will love it here as much as I did.

It's rather surreal now. A part of me wants to hold on and not leave. My house doesn't look like mine anymore though. With all the boxes piled up and things put away and taken down, it just looks sad.

Tomorrow for my last day in town, I'm meeting a friend for lunch. How can we make these moments last? Maybe that's the lesson. Everything changes and if we live in the past or in the future, we never really experience what we have now. Maybe that's why we always feel like we're fighting time.

The Countdown Starts...

2 more days to work. 7 days until the big move. I'm tired. I've been sleeping well, but I'm just tired. I think my brain is exhausted from worrying and from planning. I've pretty much come to terms with the move itself and I even am letting myself get a little excited. I know it won't be easy though.

My bird was doing a lot better last week and seemed like his old self. Over the weekend, he started to change. He's quieter, he's eating less. I'm worried, but at this point all I can do is be there for him. I wonder how much of "the big move" he senses?

I've been meeting with friends before I go. My best friend and I went to an organic grocery story on Saturday. That's a really fun event for us since we're both interested in organic food and cooking. The store also has a fabulous restaurant. I plan to come back so we can meet there occasionally.

I'm finding some people are acting very oddly ever since I announced my move. At work, most people are very happy for me. They seem jealous. Maybe from their point of view, it's an adventure they never got to take. I can do this because I'm single. That's fine, but they don't realize that I wouldn't mind their lives at all. I would love to settle down with the right guy. I guess people want what they don't have. How do you stop that and just enjoy what you have right now?

I have a so-called friend/colleague who totally blew me off when I told her about my job and move. I sent her an email (okay I did try to call her). She never responded. I sent a second one and she didn't respond to that either. Huh? We didn't have an argument. She had been sending me job ads from time to time. The last one wasn't too good though. Maybe she thought it was fine to offer me lower level jobs and the fact that I have a better one than she does ticks her off? I don't get people. She send me those chain emails too which I find annoying. All I can say is, "Whatevah."

Update

What a week! Okay, my bird does not have metal toxicity, but perhaps an enlarged kidney or a tumor. The vet wants me to have a scope done on him. What is a scope? Well, they basically insert a tube down his throat and all the way into his digestive tract to see what the problem is. I found out they also can do this to determine the sex of a bird (bird anatomy 101: bird genitalia are internal). The problem is that it is a pretty delicate procedure and only certain avian vets are competent enough. I was referred to one who can't do it until the 27th. For fun, I asked how much it would cost. Around $400.

I made a hard decision and decided to postpone the scope until after the move. I feel terribly guilty about it, but I'm under stress and he's under stress too. The vet is over an hour away and the 27th is too late to have it done. I plan to move on the 2nd and he is going to be boarded on the 29th. Whew. There is a very good vet about 3 miles from my new home. I want to see how he does. I'm not sure he'll even adapt to the new place (he's funny about change). I at least want him to have a couple stress free weeks in his own house.

In any case, he seemed better today and was very active. He may have something that is not life threatening that he'll have to live with.

As for me, I'm doing okay with this move. I still am throwing things away. I did start to pack. Thank goodness for central air because it has been hot!

I met two good friends for drinks Friday night. It is so hard to leave them. My one friend doesn't think I'll ever come back to see her. Will I? I sure hope so. She means a lot to me. In time will I become indifferent to her? I hope not! She is like a sister to me. More of a sister than the one I've got.

Well, it's time to sign off. I still have some things I need to do before bed. Isn't that great? Saturday night and I'm sorting out my things.

Catching Up

I'm busily packing and sorting through things in my closets and files. I threw out more than 8 bags of garbage over the weekend! It has been interesting going through this process. It's a trip down memory lane. Something as simple as a cancelled check can take me back to moments I had completely forgotten. I also can't believe I survived on so little. Now it seems like I can't save a dime.

I took my bird to the vet yesterday for x-rays. They revealed something in his chest. The vet thinks it is metal toxicity. I couldn't think of how he got a hold of any metals, but suddenly it occurred to me that he has been messing with the lamp by his cage. That could be it. I'm waiting for a call back from the vet. He will probably have to go on antibiotics. The poor dear!

A friend of mine told me that her company is going to sponsor a trip to France next May. I'd really like to go, but I don't think I can afford it or take that much time off. It figures.

No Such Thing as a Coincidence...

I watched some of the Coupe du Monde today. I feel bad for France losing to Italy. It would have been extra special if they had won because of Zidane's retirement. Some things just aren't meant to be I guess.

Strange coincidences have been happening to me since I decided to move from here. The other day I got a letter from my doctor telling me she is relocating as of August 1. I was almost angry. She dumped me before I could dump her. How dare she? :) Now today, my parents and I went to our favorite restaurant for lunch and it was closed and the sign was gone. I feel like the writing is on the wall saying "Get out of this town while you can!"

Since I am moving, I'm getting very nostalgic about my time here, but I also am looking forward to seeing new places and meeting new people. I tell myself that maybe the man who is out there for me has been in there all along and is just waiting for me. Who knows? I haven't ruled it out anyway. It would be a nice 40th birthday present this year.

I am also excited about my job for the first time in years. I will finally be useful again and be among colleagues. So much is changing, but it is a good change. Anything can happen and I am ready.

Why Do We Blog?

I recently discovered some blogs on a French blog site. I am amazed how open and frank they are. They seem to be more like journals. There was one in particular that I felt I could relate to. It was written by a woman around the same age as me and her struggles being single. Let's just say I can relate although she is a lot more positive about it than me. I've more or less given up and am focusing on my career.

Anyway, I visited her site this evening and saw her note that she is shutting her blog down because it's too personal and people might figure out who she is. I totally understand that, but feel very sad because I think that people like to read that kind of blog, so that they feel that there is someone else like them. For me, it is twice as interesting because I get a glimpse into French culture. Here is someone nearly the same age as me, going through the same things, but living across the ocean.

I hope I can keep this blog open myself. I wonder if any of my friends will stumble upon it and it makes me nervous. For the time being, it's open. I hope I can continue to do so because it is sort of like therapy to put some of my thoughts on a screen. I have to wonder, however, why do I need an audience?

Found It!

I found a place to live in my new city. I went there on Monday and it was the first one I looked at that day. It's not perfect, but I think I can live there.

That night, I started to get an anxiety attack and started worrying about every little thing. I still felt bad on Tuesday and Wednesday. I love the place I own right now and I'm going to miss it a lot. I have to tell myself that it's just 4 walls.

I'm also worried about my bird and how he's going to take this move. Probably not very well. I feel so guilty for disrupting his life too. I can't imagine how people with children must feel when they need to move.

I'm also going to miss my best friend. She's like a sister to me. No more meeting for coffees on Saturday morning or walks in the park in the evening. She is my friend forever though. She's family to me.