Timing

I contacted a friend of mine from 2 jobs ago. He used to like me. He came on a little strong and I got a little scared at the time and didn't want to get involved with him, but we have remained friends and went out to dinner from time to time and stay in touch through email. Lately, I have been thinking that I was kind of stupid to not at least try to have a relationship with him. He's a great guy, we share a lot of interests, etc. I really admire him because he's a musician and a humble one at that. He can play many instruments. I did a Google search on him once and found that he had even recorded some records when younger.

Anyway, I contacted him and he told me he has been seeing someone for about a year now. It figures. I am happy for him. I can't expect people to live up to my time table. While I am off thinking about what to do, life is happening to other people.

He says that maybe everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Yeah, it's easy to say that when you have someone in your life! It's not so easy to say when you're alone and approaching 40 (very quickly too). Timing seems to be everything and if you're not in synch with the other, it won't work no matter what you do. You have to both be at the same place.

Work Blues

Work has been a challenge to say the least. I'm learning my job. I have been working there for almost 6 months now. The biggest challenge is a woman who is head of my section. She wants me to be her. She wants me to do what she would do in any situation. Work on this project now because it's what I want, call this person right now because I want the answer to this question, supervise this person this way because that is the way I would, etc. She is constantly nagging me and looking over my shoulder and I supposedly have a "professional" position. I can't do this, it is too stressful. I am not her and I don't want to be. I have my own style of working and my one way to supervise people. I know that and I've been successful in the past. With her breathing down my neck, I'm stressed out and questioning every decision I make and I have no confidence in my ability. I don't know how to handle this situation. I need to talk to her, but I'm afraid of making a big issue of it. She may keep reminding me of it at every turn. She's like that. She's not a bad person at all, but she is getting on my last nerve. She's pushy, she talks too fast and changes topics mid-sentence, she talks to herself, she repeats herself. I work with a nutter.

As soon as I get to work, I can't wait to go home. I don't want to live that way, but I don't know how else to live.

Ice, Not Quite

They predicted some ice last night, but thankfully we didn't get it. I didn't have to work anyway. In fact, I was set to meet up with a friend this morning. I called her and she didn't call me back until noon. Hello? We live about 180 miles away from each other, so to meet up, I like to leave the house fairly early. Oh well. It was another day to just hang around the house.

I had to turn in my first year renewal already at work (I've been there 5 months). I learned on Friday that I passed the probation. Now I have to turn in more documentation in August. That will be more strict. I have to be careful to be scholarly since I am tenure-track and all. I'm going to have a problem with that. I have to publish articles. In my field, it's as dull as dish water. Hopefully, I'll be able to come up with something.

Why Do People Ask for an Opinion They Don't Want?

This happens to me all the time. It just happened with me and my quasi-supervisor. Maybe it just makes her look good like she is requesting input from her "staff." Anyway, I sent my suggestion to her via email and suddenly I hear a sarcastic laugh and a "why in the heck would I want to do that?" She tried to tone it down, but the damage is done. I always have the luck of working for bitches. There's no other way to say it. Of course she thinks she can do no wrong...

It's a New Year!

I feel like I should post something profound, but I can't think of anything. I've given up with the resolutions and getting all weepy and nostalgic for what was and all nervous about what will be. New Years is a day like any other. It's important to look at one's life and take stock. It doesn't have to be today. It can be every day. I just know it's important to live a good life, recognize the people that one is close to, try to make oneself the best that one can be. That's it really. I don't know what 2007 will bring; probably lots of surprises--some good, some bad. That's the way it is. Deal with it.